I recently had the pleasure of participating in the wedding of a good friend.
The bride and groom rented a lodge in the mountains where the wedding party could stay for the weekend. Festivities were planned, and food would be provided.
I expected the mountain driving (especially with a snow storm on the way) would be the adventure of this little gathering. I am very good at getting lost.
I am also very good at visualizing my car sliding off a twisty mountain road over a cliff and then my car exploding on the way down in a comet of fire and confetti, probably because I missed a turn. It seemed like the natural conclusion.
But none of that happened. It was a remarkably pleasant drive, I had good directions, and arrived a little early for the rehersal.
What I didn't expect was that the bridal suite would have an INDOOR HOT TUB that we could use.
Which is where our adventure begins...
I decided my best course of action would be to get in the hot tub as quickly as possible and pretend I was not as ridiculous as I felt.
So, I walked over to the hot tub...
...put my foot on the step...
The step was not a step at all, but a beautifully hand crafted creation of doom.
It tipped a little.
And then it tipped some more...
I attempted to regain my balance for a moment...
I went down.
For a moment I lay on the floor, basking in my utter humiliation, and wondering what I had broken. Besides the last vestiges of my self respect, I mean.
And I realized that everyone in the room, maybe a half a dozen brides maids, was staring at me.
I tried to reassure them.
The most certain way to make sure everyone thinks you're drunk is to assure them you are not.
So I (very carefully) hopped into the hot tub, realizing that everyone was sitting on the edge because the the temperature was set roughly to that of molten lava.
I will neither confirm nor deny that I may or may not have screamed.